Let’s be real for a second.You’re smart. Driven. Ambitious. You’ve got the vision, the talent, and let’s be honest—you’re no stranger to hard work.So why does it feel like you’re stalling? Why are the big goals—launching that business, writing that book, finally creating something meaningful—still sat on the shelf gathering dust?I’ll tell you why.It’s not because you’re lazy. Or disorganised. Or lacking strategy.It’s because you’re hooked.Not on sugar or scrolling. But on something far more subtle… and dangerous to your success.You’re addicted to approval.Yep. That sneaky, feel-good pat on the back. That dopamine spike when someone says, “Oh my god, you’re a lifesaver!” That little voice in your head saying, “If I just help them out one more time, maybe they’ll like me more.”Sound familiar?Let’s unpack why this happens—and more importantly, how to break free.<h1 id="74631a8f-1a1f-4027-90db-800ad207f682" data-toc-id="74631a8f-1a1f-4027-90db-800ad207f682">The Silent Saboteur: Why Needing Approval Is Killing Your Momentum</h1>There’s a part of your brain called the dorsal striatum. (Stick with me, I promise I won’t get too nerdy.)This little region is wired for repetition. It doesn’t care if what you’re doing moves you closer to your goals. It just cares that you’ve done it before.Why? Because predictability feels safer than possibility.So instead of saying no to the unimportant things and yes to the work that actually matters, we default to the familiar.We check the emails. We jump on the Zooms. We “help out” even when we don’t want to—just so someone can say, “Thank you so much.”That compliment? That tiny dose of approval? That’s your brain’s equivalent of a sugar hit. It feels good, fast. But over time, it drains you of the energy and motivation you actually need to move the needle.And it gets worse.<div data-youtube-video=""><iframe width="640" height="480" allowfullscreen="true" autoplay="false" disablekbcontrols="false" enableiframeapi="false" endtime="0" ivloadpolicy="0" loop="false" modestbranding="false" origin="" playlist="" progressbarcolor="white" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Th_Y1hqoguM" start="0"></iframe></div><h1 id="aac05f2f-3639-490e-af3a-f4dc5587b3c3" data-toc-id="aac05f2f-3639-490e-af3a-f4dc5587b3c3">The Dopamine Trap: Why Quick Hits = Long-Term Fatigue</h1>Here’s where it gets scary.Every time you chase that instant hit of feel-good—from praise, likes, or a job well done—your baseline dopamine starts to drop.And your baseline dopamine is what fuels your long-term motivation.So instead of building real momentum, you’re stuck on a loop of temporary relief. You're trading your big, bold goals for tiny moments of “I helped!” or “They liked me!”Let me give you a real-world example.<h1 id="5612b691-835b-4251-a128-0c335e92f3b0" data-toc-id="5612b691-835b-4251-a128-0c335e92f3b0">A Real Story: From Approval Junkie to Impact Maker</h1>One of my one-on-one clients is the founder and CEO of a business called Collab Teams. She’s a total powerhouse. Smart, strategic, amazing at what she does. Her work literally changes people’s lives.But here’s the thing…She kept saying yes to tasks she had no business doing anymore.Booking calendar invites. Replying to every email. Taking on “quick jobs” that made people happy… but left her feeling completely burnt out.Her big goal? Launching a podcast.But that dream just sat there. Untouched. Because doing work that made others happy felt good and safe. Every “thank you” was a dopamine hit.Eventually, she got honest with herself.She saw the pattern. She realised she wasn’t stuck because of lack of time or talent—but because her brain had become wired to crave quick praise instead of meaningful progress.So she made a choice.She let go of the “helpful” work. She prioritised her big dream. And now?She’s the host of one of the top-rated business podcasts in Australia.Not because she worked harder. But because she started working on what actually mattered.<h1 id="005b0a93-002b-431a-86a1-8397b34f1884" data-toc-id="005b0a93-002b-431a-86a1-8397b34f1884">The Choice: Comfort or Growth?</h1>If you’re feeling stuck, burnt out, or just a bit flat—it might not be about changing your schedule.It might be about changing your reward system.Ask yourself this:👉 Are you chasing the next quick win?Or…👉 Are you building something meaningful?Because here’s the deal: growth isn’t meant to feel easy. In fact, discomfort is often the clearest sign you’re on the right track.When you feel that itch to people-please, say yes, or jump in and “save the day”… pause.Ask: is this about impact, or is this about approval?That tiny moment of self-awareness? That’s where the shift begins.<h1 id="b8b166d0-e4fa-44c7-a8dc-12aacd653812" data-toc-id="b8b166d0-e4fa-44c7-a8dc-12aacd653812">Want to Start Owning the Room and Breaking the Ice with Confidence?</h1>If you’ve been nodding along and thinking, “Damn, this is me”… then you’ll love this.I’ve put together a free 15-minute training that will give you the tools to start conversations with confidence anywhere—even if you usually freeze up or worry about what others think.It's called the Break The Ice 3-Step Formula, and it’s helped thousands of people ditch the fear, ditch the awkwardness, and finally connect with others with ease.Whether you're at a networking event, meeting someone new, or just want to be more confident in your everyday conversations—this short training will change the game.➡️ Grab it here:<a target="_blank" href="https://bit.ly/4dTZZaz"> https://bit.ly/4dTZZaz</a>It’s free. It’s fast. And it’s yours.<h1 id="a18ab2d8-c2a0-42ba-82b5-cd9448f7fc41" data-toc-id="a18ab2d8-c2a0-42ba-82b5-cd9448f7fc41">Let’s Wrap This Up</h1>You don’t need another productivity hack.You don’t need a new morning routine.You need to get honest about what’s actually driving your decisions—and start choosing long-term meaning over short-term praise.The truth? Approval is a drug. And if you’re not careful, it’ll cost you your future.But the good news?You’ve got a choice. Right now. Today.You can start backing yourself instead of waiting for others to.You can do the work that matters.You can start living a life less ordinary.<h1 id="e4463f07-9338-4507-bd67-f969cbdb8e1c" data-toc-id="e4463f07-9338-4507-bd67-f969cbdb8e1c">Let’s Connect</h1>If this resonated, let’s keep the momentum going.👋 Connect with me on socials for more insights, inspiration, and strategies to level up your mindset and communication:<ul><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Instagram:<a target="_blank" href="https://www.instagram.com/anthonylayespeaks"> @anthonylayespeaks</a></li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">YouTube:<a target="_blank" href="https://www.youtube.com/@anthonylaye"> @anthonylaye</a></li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Website:<a target="_blank" href="https://www.anthonylaye.com"> </a><a target="_blank" href="http://anthonylaye.com">anthonylaye.com</a></li></ul>Oh—and if you’re looking for something a little deeper, I also run a mastermind for those who are ready to stop playing small and start building a life they’re genuinely proud of.<h1 id="a6af5e1f-cefa-417e-8b44-723798e6f591" data-toc-id="a6af5e1f-cefa-417e-8b44-723798e6f591">Need a Speaker Who Actually Gets It?</h1>Whether you’re a business leader looking to level up your team’s communication and mindset, or an event organiser after a keynote speaker who’s equal parts engaging and practical—I'm here for it.As a keynote speaker and thought engineer, I work with professionals, leaders and entrepreneurs who are ready to live a life that’s anything but ordinary. If your team needs a shake-up in how they think, speak, and lead—I’d love to chat.📩 Head over to<a target="_blank" href="https://www.anthonylaye.com"> </a><a target="_blank" href="http://anthonylaye.com">anthonylaye.com</a> to learn more or enquire about bookings.The Hidden Addiction Killing Your Success? It’s approval.But now you see it.And once you see it—you can beat it.Ready to start?

Every time you chase that instant hit of feel-good—from praise, likes, or a job well done—your baseline dopamine starts to drop.

The Hidden Addiction Killing Your Success

The Silent Saboteur: Why Needing Approval Is Killing Your Momentum

The Dopamine Trap: Why Quick Hits = Long-Term Fatigue

A Real Story: From Approval Junkie to Impact Maker

Want to Start Owning the Room and Breaking the Ice with Confidence?

Learn how to grow and scale your online course business using our online course platform. EzyCourse blog is designed to teach you how to create and sell online courses.

The Hidden Addiction Killing Your Success

The Hidden Addiction Killing Your Success

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