If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve experienced that familiar wave of anxiety in a social situation. Maybe it’s just before you’re about to speak in a meeting, walk into a networking event, or strike up a conversation with someone new. Your palms get clammy, your heart starts racing, and your brain decides that now is the perfect time to freeze.I get it—I’ve been there. Social situations can be nerve-wracking, even for those of us who thrive in professional or public environments. But here’s the good news: being nervous in social situations isn’t a permanent state. With the right strategies, you can feel more confident, present, and prepared, no matter the setting.In this article, I’m going to walk you through some practical, proven techniques that will help you stop feeling nervous in social situations. By the end, you’ll have a roadmap for tackling nerves, whether you’re presenting to a room full of people or making small talk at a networking event.<h1 id="061a6fe6-e640-4cc1-b542-53c01e6e7347" data-toc-id="061a6fe6-e640-4cc1-b542-53c01e6e7347">Why Do We Get Nervous in Social Situations?</h1>Before diving into the solutions, let’s address the “why.” Nervousness often stems from a fear of being judged or rejected. It’s an evolutionary response—our brains interpret social scrutiny as a threat, triggering a fight-or-flight reaction. While this might have helped our ancestors survive, it’s not so helpful when you’re just trying to introduce yourself to a colleague.The key is to recognise this response and learn how to manage it effectively.<div data-youtube-video=""><iframe width="640" height="480" allowfullscreen="true" autoplay="false" disablekbcontrols="false" enableiframeapi="false" endtime="0" ivloadpolicy="0" loop="false" modestbranding="false" origin="" playlist="" progressbarcolor="white" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Pty4VKDwBR8?si=oO8GgT0kLv8PxgHw" start="0"></iframe></div><h2 id="459f2608-4369-43a3-b936-4ad7058980ea" data-toc-id="459f2608-4369-43a3-b936-4ad7058980ea">Step 1: Preparation is Your Best Friend</h2>The number one way to tackle nerves? Preparation. Being prepared isn’t about overloading yourself with a perfect script or a million flashcards—it’s about creating a safety net that gives you confidence.<h3 id="17894491-f816-42a3-81b9-b9c161ff3b17" data-toc-id="17894491-f816-42a3-81b9-b9c161ff3b17">For Presentations and Speeches:</h3><ol><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Rehearse Your Opening and Closing Lines Your first and last lines are the most important. A strong opening sets the tone and helps you ease into the flow. Rehearsing these lines until they feel natural will take the edge off those initial jitters. Similarly, having a solid closing ensures you leave a lasting impression, even if you fumble a bit in the middle.</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Bullet Points Over Scripts Instead of memorising an entire script, focus on a few key bullet points. This allows you to stay flexible and speak more naturally, without the panic of forgetting your lines.</li></ol><h3 id="89beb403-c27d-4001-9303-1dba330d858a" data-toc-id="89beb403-c27d-4001-9303-1dba330d858a">For Conversations:</h3>Prepare 3–5 conversation starters that you can pull out when needed. For example:<ul><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">“What’s the most exciting part of your role?”</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">“If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?”</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">“What’s a passion project you’re working on?”</li></ul>Having these questions in your back pocket ensures you’ll never run out of things to say, even if nerves creep in.<h2 id="a0fdaeac-d762-43b3-b56d-b1502fdb9550" data-toc-id="a0fdaeac-d762-43b3-b56d-b1502fdb9550">Step 2: Harness the Power of Body Language</h2>Your body language speaks volumes—often before you even say a word. When you’re nervous, it’s easy to shrink into yourself: shoulders hunched, arms crossed, and eyes downcast. Unfortunately, this only makes you feel more anxious.Here’s how to turn it around:<ol><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Adopt a Power Pose Before stepping into a meeting, walking on stage, or even starting a Zoom call, take a couple of minutes to adopt a power pose. Stand tall, shoulders back, and arms wide. This simple trick can shift your mindset and make you feel more confident.</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Be Open and Engaging In social settings, maintain an open posture—uncrossed arms, relaxed shoulders, and steady eye contact. Not only will this help you feel more confident, but it’ll also make you appear more approachable to others.</li></ol><h2 id="c20e4c4d-8e99-46bc-a80b-5175f5b838a0" data-toc-id="c20e4c4d-8e99-46bc-a80b-5175f5b838a0">Step 3: Slow Down—It’s Not a Race</h2>When nerves kick in, your natural instinct is to speed up—your speech quickens, your thoughts race, and before you know it, you’re tripping over your words.The solution? Slow down.<ul><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Pause to Breathe Take a moment to breathe deeply before you speak. Not only does this calm your nerves, but it also helps you appear more composed.</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Speak with Intention Instead of rushing through your sentences, slow down and articulate your words. Pausing between thoughts gives your brain time to catch up, helping you stay in control of the conversation.</li></ul><h2 id="4f6bece6-e6e7-41e9-8b9d-3da31787321c" data-toc-id="4f6bece6-e6e7-41e9-8b9d-3da31787321c">Step 4: Rescue Awkward Moments with a Question</h2>We’ve all faced those dreaded silences when a conversation fizzles out. But here’s the secret: awkward silences aren’t the end of the world—they’re an opportunity.One of my favourite tricks is to ask a “what if” question. For example:<ul><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">“What if you won the lottery tomorrow? What’s the first thing you’d do?”</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">“What if you could work on any project in the world, what would it be?”</li></ul>These questions spark curiosity and invite the other person to dream, instantly reigniting the conversation.<h1 id="d46a3b2f-740d-4f92-9a2d-fcece3019dae" data-toc-id="d46a3b2f-740d-4f92-9a2d-fcece3019dae">Ready to Master Social Situations?</h1>If you’ve ever struggled to start conversations or feel confident in social settings, I’ve got something just for you.Unlock the secret to confidently connecting with anyone! Download my FREE 15-minute training and discover the Break The Ice 3-step formula that will help you start conversations effortlessly in any setting.Whether it’s business meetings, social events, or casual encounters, this powerful formula will completely change the way you communicate.👉<a target="_blank" href="https://bit.ly/4dTZZaz"> Click here to get instant access!</a><h1 id="29dc32d9-d7f8-441d-b2fd-1187bd5a7730" data-toc-id="29dc32d9-d7f8-441d-b2fd-1187bd5a7730">Practice Makes Progress</h1>Overcoming nerves in social situations isn’t about becoming a different person—it’s about learning how to manage your natural responses. With practice, these strategies will help you feel more at ease, whether you’re giving a presentation, attending a networking event, or chatting with friends.<h1 id="dbb9c63b-a33d-4d2f-9437-630afb72fa4a" data-toc-id="dbb9c63b-a33d-4d2f-9437-630afb72fa4a">Let’s Stay Connected</h1>If you found this article helpful, let’s keep the conversation going!📌 Connect with me here:<ul><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Instagram:<a target="_blank" href="https://instagram.com/anthonylayespeaks"> @anthonylayespeaks</a></li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">YouTube:<a target="_blank" href="https://youtube.com/anthonylaye"> @anthonylaye</a></li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Website:<a target="_blank" href="https://anthonylaye.com"> </a><a target="_blank" href="http://anthonylaye.com">anthonylaye.com</a></li></ul>For event organisers or businesses looking to improve their team’s communication and confidence, I’m available for speaking engagements. I also run a mastermind program for those who are ready to take their lives and careers to the next level.Confidence isn’t about being fearless—it’s about showing up prepared, present, and ready to connect. Let’s work together to make that happen.

Overcoming nerves in social situations isn’t about becoming a different person—it’s about learning how to manage your natural responses. 

How to Stop Being Nervous in Social Situations

Why Do We Get Nervous in Social Situations?

Step 2: Harness the Power of Body Language

Step 4: Rescue Awkward Moments with a Question

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How to Stop Being Nervous in Social Situations

How to Stop Being Nervous in Social Situations

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