Let’s be honest for a moment.Confidence looks great on the outside – but inside? Many of us are doing our best not to unravel.I used to think confidence was something people were born with. Like green eyes or curly hair. Some have it. Some don’t. End of story.But I’ve learned – both personally and through coaching professionals, leaders and entrepreneurs – that real confidence doesn’t come from being loud, fearless or always knowing the answer.It comes from backing yourself, even when your heart is racing and your palms are sweaty.So if you’re struggling with self-doubt but want to show up with confidence anyway, you’re in the right place.Let’s explore how.<h1 id="0ae3747b-fcc2-4985-8362-a32859f3b1ab" data-toc-id="0ae3747b-fcc2-4985-8362-a32859f3b1ab">What Confidence Really Is (Hint: It’s Not What You Think)</h1>If I had a magic wand and could give you one trait that would change your entire life – business, relationships, leadership, parenting, the works – it wouldn’t be more time. Or more motivation. Or even more talent.I’d give you more confidence.But not the “fake it till you make it” kind. Not the overly polished, trying-too-hard energy that people can smell from across the room.I’m talking about the real kind.The kind that whispers:“You’ve got this.” “You’re allowed to take up space.” “It’s okay to not know everything – speak anyway.”<h1 id="8de2cfda-261e-4649-9e65-78f4e3b96d45" data-toc-id="8de2cfda-261e-4649-9e65-78f4e3b96d45">You’re Not Lacking Confidence – You’ve Just Stopped Using It</h1>Here’s something no one really tells you: confidence isn’t missing – it’s just gone quiet.Maybe it got shut down years ago. Maybe it was pushed aside by fear, rejection or the pressure to always get it right.But it’s still there.What holds most people back isn’t a lack of ability. It’s a behavioural loop that goes something like this:<ol><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">You want to speak up.</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Your brain shouts, “What if I mess this up?”</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">You overthink.</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">You hesitate.</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Hesitation turns into doubt.</li></ol>Sound familiar?That voice telling you you’re not good enough? That’s not you. It’s just an old, dusty radio playing reruns from the past. Beliefs you never chose. Messages like:“Don’t be too loud.” “You’re not smart enough.” “People like you don’t do things like that.”<h1 id="751fe256-62ce-4467-a79b-9889da16c397" data-toc-id="751fe256-62ce-4467-a79b-9889da16c397">Even High Achievers Doubt Themselves (They’re Just Better At Hiding It)</h1>Let me introduce you to Chris.He’s a Managing Director. Respected by his team. Highly capable. On paper – a total natural when it comes to leadership.But after big meetings or high-stakes presentations? He’d spiral.“Did I say too much?” “Was I not strong enough?” “Should I have done that differently?”From the outside, Chris looked composed and confident. But inside, that mental chatter was loud.And this is the thing about confidence: it’s rarely about how others see you. It’s about how you see yourself.When Chris came through my coaching program, he had a huge shift. He told me:“I realised I already had the answers. I just needed someone to ask the right questions.”That’s when the confidence started to reappear.Not because the fear disappeared.But because he acted despite the fear.<h1 id="2d2fa8a7-8798-4a02-8727-6b793bb45164" data-toc-id="2d2fa8a7-8798-4a02-8727-6b793bb45164">Confidence Doesn’t Come Before Action – It Comes From Action</h1>Here’s the shift that changed everything for me – and for countless clients:You don’t need to feel confident to act. You build confidence by acting.Think of confidence like a loop:<ol><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Action (You do the scary thing)</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Evidence (You realise you didn’t die, fall apart or completely mess up)</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Trust (You start to believe in yourself)</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Repeat (You take bigger action next time)</li></ol>The more you go through the loop, the more solid your confidence becomes.It’s not magic. It’s momentum.<h1 id="a70c20cc-e6ec-4cb6-85c1-bc7806a97bcb" data-toc-id="a70c20cc-e6ec-4cb6-85c1-bc7806a97bcb">3 Things You Need to Know About Real Confidence</h1>There’s a simple formula I teach inside my coaching programme, Mind Academy, to help professionals reconnect with their confidence.It has 3 key principles:<h2 id="4b321d2e-2642-4a0b-adf0-6f8f10fee6c4" data-toc-id="4b321d2e-2642-4a0b-adf0-6f8f10fee6c4">1. Confidence is a Skill</h2>You can learn to be confident. Just like learning to drive or pitch or negotiate – it takes practice.If you want to be confident in a certain area, you might need to sharpen some tools. That’s not a weakness – that’s strategy.<h2 id="e8085e53-bd8b-4db9-b01b-5ee0111960bd" data-toc-id="e8085e53-bd8b-4db9-b01b-5ee0111960bd">2. Confidence is Active</h2>It’s not enough to understand confidence. You have to use it.Just like muscles weaken when you don’t move, confidence fades when you don’t stretch it.<h2 id="046c6783-0411-43aa-b8d5-0dbe15921e5a" data-toc-id="046c6783-0411-43aa-b8d5-0dbe15921e5a">3. Confidence is Situational</h2>You might feel confident one-on-one, but throw you on stage and it disappears.That doesn’t mean you’re not confident – it means you’re in unfamiliar territory.Once you recognise this, you stop making it mean something about your worth.Struggling to Start Conversations? This Will HelpOne of the fastest ways to build confidence is by learning how to connect with people – easily, naturally and without overthinking.Whether it’s networking, a new client, or just small talk that doesn’t feel awkward – this is a skill anyone can learn.That’s why I created a free training called:<h1 id="9d7529c8-0de0-4c86-8526-402e004f71f0" data-toc-id="9d7529c8-0de0-4c86-8526-402e004f71f0">👉 Break The Ice: How to Start Conversations in 15 Minutes or Less</h1>Inside this powerful (and short) training, I’ll teach you my 3-step formula for confidently starting conversations in any setting – business, social or casual.Whether you’re:✅ Meeting clients ✅ Attending networking events ✅ Starting conversations in a lift, airport or caféYou’ll walk away knowing exactly how to connect without freezing up.📥<a target="_blank" href="https://bit.ly/4dTZZaz"> Click here for free instant access.</a><h1 id="8920d350-4fc0-4e32-90e5-a4518cede8e0" data-toc-id="8920d350-4fc0-4e32-90e5-a4518cede8e0">Final Thoughts – Confidence Is Already in You</h1>If you’ve been waiting for the moment when you finally “feel” confident before putting yourself out there… I’ve got some news.That moment isn’t coming.But the moment you take action – even if it’s just a small step – that’s when confidence begins to rise.Confidence isn’t loud. It’s not perfect. It’s not fearless.It’s quietly backing yourself, again and again, until one day… you realise you’re not pretending anymore.<h1 id="0a2d0709-6ac5-4f95-a92d-742182f42dbd" data-toc-id="0a2d0709-6ac5-4f95-a92d-742182f42dbd">Let’s Stay Connected</h1>If this resonated with you, let’s keep the conversation going.📲 Follow me for more insights on confidence, mindset and communication:<ul><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Instagram:<a target="_blank" href="https://instagram.com/anthonylayespeaks"> @anthonylayespeaks</a></li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">YouTube:<a target="_blank" href="https://youtube.com/@anthonylaye"> @anthonylaye</a></li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Website:<a target="_blank" href="https://www.anthonylaye.com"> </a><a target="_blank" href="http://www.anthonylaye.com">www.anthonylaye.com</a></li></ul><h1 id="afe20281-8538-41a6-9d6e-d809d6ca2101" data-toc-id="afe20281-8538-41a6-9d6e-d809d6ca2101">Looking to Take Your Team – or Your Life – to the Next Level?</h1>For organisations wanting to boost their team’s communication skills, or event planners seeking a speaker who’s engaging, practical and a bit unexpected…📣 I deliver keynote talks and tailored workshops that shift perspectives and energise action.And if you’re a professional or entrepreneur looking to seriously up-level your mindset, performance and communication?I run a mastermind programme for people ready to live a life less ordinary.💬 Message me directly or visit<a target="_blank" href="https://www.anthonylaye.com"> </a><a target="_blank" href="http://www.anthonylaye.com">www.anthonylaye.com</a> to find out more.Confidence doesn’t need to be created. It just needs a space to come back to life. And that starts with one decision: to move.

You can learn to be confident. Just like learning to drive or pitch or negotiate – it takes practice.

How To Be Confident (Even When You’re Full of Doubt)

What Confidence Really Is (Hint: It’s Not What You Think)

You’re Not Lacking Confidence – You’ve Just Stopped Using It

Even High Achievers Doubt Themselves (They’re Just Better At Hiding It)

Confidence Doesn’t Come Before Action – It Comes From Action

3 Things You Need to Know About Real Confidence

👉 Break The Ice: How to Start Conversations in 15 Minutes or Less

Final Thoughts – Confidence Is Already in You

Looking to Take Your Team – or Your Life – to the Next Level?

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How To Be Confident (Even When You’re Full of Doubt)

How To Be Confident (Even When You’re Full of Doubt)

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