Have you ever felt like confidence is a secret club you weren’t invited to? The kind of people who light up a room, strike up conversations with strangers, and seem effortlessly self-assured… they just have “it,” right?Here’s the truth: Confidence isn’t reserved for extroverts or people with naturally bold personalities. It’s a skill—one that anyone can develop, even if you’re shy.I should know because I used to be that person: overthinking every conversation, avoiding eye contact, and replaying awkward moments on a loop in my head. But over time, I discovered that confidence isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room. It’s about finding your voice, owning it, and using it to connect with others authentically.In this article, we’re diving into how you can build confidence—even if you’re naturally shy. Whether it’s speaking up in a meeting, networking at an event, or simply starting a conversation, these strategies will help you show up as your best self.<h1 id="5e9060bb-d162-4ed7-9fd0-dbc94c68b9f3" data-toc-id="5e9060bb-d162-4ed7-9fd0-dbc94c68b9f3">Why Confidence Isn’t About Being Loud</h1>Let’s start with a myth: Confidence means being bold, brash, and commanding attention wherever you go. Wrong.Confidence is about presence, not volume. It’s about how you carry yourself, how you listen, and how you engage with others. In fact, quieter confidence can often be more impactful.I remember a moment from a conference where I was watching a nervous presenter about to take the stage. They were visibly nervous—pacing, fidgeting, and struggling to breathe calmly. But when they stepped onto the stage, they began with a simple, humorous line:“Apologies if I’ve been irritable the past two weeks. Asking the most introverted person in the company to give a speech is a surefire recipe for sleepless nights!”That one moment of vulnerability, paired with a bit of humour, won the room over. They didn’t have to shout or put on a show. They just had to be authentic.<div class="iframe-wrapper"><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/PH6YZe71mmE?si=2ZUw_pztyaysNRjp" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></div><h1 id="9b1618f7-9c23-46a8-b1f2-5a7e74aa4483" data-toc-id="9b1618f7-9c23-46a8-b1f2-5a7e74aa4483">What’s Holding You Back?</h1>Before we dive into strategies, let’s address the elephant in the room: fear.Fear of judgment. Fear of rejection. Fear of saying the wrong thing.These fears often come from the stories we tell ourselves:<ul><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">“I’m not good at speaking.”</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">“They’ll think I’m boring.”</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">“What if I embarrass myself?”</li></ul>Sound familiar? Here’s the thing: These fears are just that—stories. They’re not facts. And the first step to building confidence is recognising that you don’t have to believe everything you think.<h1 id="48ee4d68-db86-4896-ac62-d7c11c42b34e" data-toc-id="48ee4d68-db86-4896-ac62-d7c11c42b34e">3 Strategies to Build Confidence (Even If You’re Shy)</h1>Now, let’s get practical. These strategies have helped me go from a nervous overthinker to a confident communicator—and they can do the same for you.<h2 id="cb209437-f5e7-47c1-a970-b7f0705c01f0" data-toc-id="cb209437-f5e7-47c1-a970-b7f0705c01f0">1. Master the Art of Receiving Compliments</h2>Be honest: What’s your go-to response when someone compliments you?If you’re like most people, it’s probably something like, “Oh, it was nothing,” or, “I just got lucky.”Here’s why that’s a problem: When you deflect a compliment, you’re not just downplaying your hard work—you’re also making the other person feel awkward.Instead, try this: Smile, make eye contact, and say, “Thank you, that means a lot.” Let the compliment sink in.Accepting compliments isn’t arrogance—it’s acknowledging your value. And the more you practice it, the more confident you’ll feel in your abilities.<h2 id="54dfff83-78cf-4623-af47-c119d985cb06" data-toc-id="54dfff83-78cf-4623-af47-c119d985cb06">2. Use Your Body Language to Speak Volumes</h2>Confidence isn’t just about what you say—it’s about how you carry yourself.Here are a few simple body language tweaks that can make a big difference:<ul><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Relax your shoulders: Tension tends to live there. Drop them down to release stress.</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Use open gestures: Avoid crossing your arms or fidgeting. Open, relaxed movements signal confidence.</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Smile: A genuine, warm smile instantly makes you appear approachable and self-assured.</li></ul>Pro tip: Use your hands to emphasise key points when speaking. It keeps people engaged and helps you feel more connected to your message.<h2 id="56ab76b8-ae6f-404a-a9de-e25e2fb948bf" data-toc-id="56ab76b8-ae6f-404a-a9de-e25e2fb948bf">3. Slow Down and Stay Calm</h2>When we’re nervous, everything speeds up—our speech, our breathing, even our thoughts. The result? Rambling, stumbling, and feeling flustered.The antidote? Slow. It. Down.<ul><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Breathe deeply before speaking.</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Pause between sentences to gather your thoughts.</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Speak slightly slower than feels natural—it’ll come across as calm and deliberate.</li></ul>Remember: Calmness is contagious. When you’re calm, the people around you will feel at ease too.<h1 id="d8c9e77a-5234-4935-80d9-23d42d5d6c81" data-toc-id="d8c9e77a-5234-4935-80d9-23d42d5d6c81">The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything</h1>Here’s a game-changing realisation: Confidence isn’t about being the centre of attention. It’s about creating genuine connections.Think about a time when someone made you feel truly seen or heard. Chances are, it wasn’t because they dominated the conversation. It was because they listened, asked thoughtful questions, and showed genuine interest.You can be that person. Your quiet, thoughtful nature is a strength—not a limitation.<h1 id="87425f7f-802e-4752-bca1-10f68b150ff4" data-toc-id="87425f7f-802e-4752-bca1-10f68b150ff4">How to Start Conversations Effortlessly</h1>If you’re shy, starting conversations can feel like stepping into the lion’s den. But it doesn’t have to be that way.I’ve created a FREE training called Break The Ice, where I share my 3-step formula for starting conversations effortlessly in any setting.Here’s what you’ll learn:<ul><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">How to break through the fear of starting a conversation.</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">The 3-step formula that works in business, social events, or casual encounters.</li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">How to make meaningful connections without overthinking.</li></ul>Ready to start connecting with confidence?👉<a target="_blank" href="https://bit.ly/4dTZZaz"> Click here</a> to get instant access to the training.<h1 id="6bfefd7c-64d4-45fb-a4b2-f1013b01d093" data-toc-id="6bfefd7c-64d4-45fb-a4b2-f1013b01d093">Confidence Starts with Authenticity</h1>Building confidence isn’t about pretending to be someone you’re not. It’s about revealing your authentic self and trusting that it’s enough.You don’t need to be loud to be heard. You just need to show up—calm, thoughtful, and ready to connect.So, the next time you catch yourself overthinking or doubting your abilities, remember: Confidence isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence.<h1 id="06bc37c8-6d8d-4e45-b485-40042a568df3" data-toc-id="06bc37c8-6d8d-4e45-b485-40042a568df3">Let’s Stay Connected</h1>If you found this article helpful, let’s keep the conversation going!<ul><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Follow me on Instagram:<a target="_blank" href="https://www.instagram.com/anthonylayespeaks"> @anthonylayespeaks</a></li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Watch my videos on YouTube:<a target="_blank" href="https://www.youtube.com/@anthonylaye"> @anthonylaye</a></li><li style="color: rgb(55, 65, 81)">Explore my insights on my website:<a target="_blank" href="https://anthonylaye.com"> </a><a target="_blank" href="http://anthonylaye.com">anthonylaye.com</a></li></ul>Looking for ways to enhance your team’s communication skills? Or perhaps you need an engaging MC or keynote speaker for your next event?As a behaviour expert and coach, I specialise in helping leaders and teams build confidence, develop charisma, and create meaningful connections. Drop me a message, and let’s discuss how I can help you achieve your goals.

Here’s the truth: Confidence isn’t reserved for extroverts or people with naturally bold personalities. It’s a skill—one that anyone can develop, even if you’re shy.

How to Be Confident Even If You’re Shy

3 Strategies to Build Confidence (Even If You’re Shy)

1. Master the Art of Receiving Compliments

2. Use Your Body Language to Speak Volumes

The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything

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How to Be Confident Even If You’re Shy

How to Be Confident Even If You’re Shy

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