Dealing With A Negative Interaction

October 26, 2017

I wasn't going to post this clip, however there are some valuable lessons to be learnt in this video on how to deal with a bad interaction and turn it around.

 

The gentleman in this video is like my nemesis, this is the kind of person I dread performing for, they have one mission, to mess things up, prove me wrong and make me look stupid.

 

As you will see his body language is totally closed, his demeanour is one of a total lack of interest, he won’t make eye contact or answer any questions properly 

 

What you see me do is:

  • Stay calm, I don’t get defensive which is most peoples natural reaction, 

  • Use touch to try and establish more rapport, 

  • Keep testing his personal space by getting closer then moving away, 

  • I lean in to show interest in him, 

  • You will see I keep trying to get eye contact (unsuccessfully), so instead use the area where he is looking as his focus point, 

  • I then use a very powerful tool, which is to highlight the fact that he is trying not to give anything away (I show understanding of how he is feeling),

  • At the end I come out victorious and everyone lives happily ever after.

 

Watch how his whole demeanour changes towards me towards the end, all of a sudden he smiles, opens up, makes eye contact and even shakes my hand…. Although, I am still not happy that he tells me “I can’t be that clever” :)

 

Next time you are experiencing a bad interaction:

  • Stay calm and don’t get defensive.

  • Work on building more rapport (touch, eye contact, smiling, be interested in them) 

  • Show you understand the feelings of the other person by verbalising it, if someone is stressed, say ‘I can see this is making you stressed’

  • Seek out a solution to transform negative feeling

 

Have you ever turned an interaction around? I would love to hear your experiences.

 

Thanks for reading

 

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